I was browsing through celebrity gossip while my power was out (yet another power outage in my community) and I came across one of Wendy William’s Hot Topics. Now, I’m an on-again/off-again fan of Wendy Williams. It really changes with the time of day. Anywho, she asked her fans whether they thought Robin Thicke was trying too hard to get his wife (Paula Patton) back. I already had my own strong opinion about the topic, but I decided to read the comments first. Sometimes, I feel like MJ.
There were many commenters who said Thicke was pathetic for begging for his wife to come back. Others believed Paula shouldn’t forgive him and just moved on. Then, I saw the comment that summed up my feelings in very few words: “‘Trying too hard’ is for singles.”
I don’t know that lady personally, but she is completely correct. Marriage to many people is replaceable, like a pair of shoes. You try it on in the store and it works (the dating period). You get it home and it still works. You wear them to work and you realize they are “sitting” shoes, so you give that pair away and get another. A good marriage is similar to shoes, but not a pair of Payless shoes…more like a pair of Christian Louboutin’s. You should do everything to make them work for you because it cost so much. I’m not just talking about your wedding dress, cake and romantic honeymoon. I’m talking about the emotional investment you made and the promises (because that’s what vows are) you made to each other–in front of your family, friends, and God. Religion aside, don’t you want to be noble enough to keep your word?
Am I saying that there aren’t circumstances that require you to separate from your spouse for a while…or longer (à la Paula Patton and Tina Campbell of Mary Mary)? Nope. I’m not saying that. What I am saying is that if you’re in a rough spot, push through it. Pray until something happens and have faith that it will. I wouldn’t suggest going the route Robin Thicke is taking because it doesn’t seem genuine to me.
Just don’t follow the crowd and give up on your marriage because it’s not easy. Mistakes will be made. You’ll be really sorry some days. S/he will be really sorry some days. There will be days that you may ask yourself
You aren’t alone and you surely aren’t the first to face these things. Many people actually work HARD to have long-lasting marriages. The best part is that many of these people are willing to share their stories with you to help make YOUR marriage stronger. Put in work and you’ll get something you’ll love even more than your favorite shoes! Check out a few resources below:
Note: After publishing, I learned that Big Boi of Outkast and his wife have decided to not divorce. That’s what I am talking about!